Part Freedom
1:36 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Now that En Tikoos out of picture, i think i found my peace balik..
I dunno why i bertangguh2 nak suruh dia keluar. If i know, keamanan begini yg akan dihadapi, i wud do it sooner. Mungkin sbb i try to convine myself that he's not so bad.Or i sendiri x yakin if I can live with anyone else. See, i'm writing mcm isteri yg mintak divorce kan?
Btw, i hv no interest nak citer pjg2 psl dia.No regrets kan??
I learned a lot from this situation. I learn forgiveness. I learn courage. I learn priority.
Forgiveness.
As easy as org ckp, bukan senang nak maapkan dalam hati, betul? Cakap kat mulut, apalagi SMS, mmg la senang. Nak cakap i'm sorry, atau aku maafkan ko mmg x berapa best jika compare dgn mengamuk and luahkan apa yg terbuku di dada. Anger : mcm rasa lapar. adalah satu drive yg mendesak kita agar memenuhinya. Kalau kita tahan, kita yg x senang duduk. Tapi ada satu lagi nama dia : nafsu. So, dlm hati ni skrg mmg masih ada rasa x puas hati, tapi aku anggap itu seperti rasa lapar yg aku tahan ni. Aku tahan rasa marah itu, cuba padamkan rasa x puas hati itu, supaya aku dpt keamanan. Juga supaya aku belajar sebab kenapa aku perlu marah, x puas hati.. di mana silapnya. Apa yg boleh aku perbaiki..
Courage/Keberanian.
kwn2 tahu aku bukan jenis yg cari pasal. aku juga bkn yg byk songeh. Most of the times i end up punishing myself than other coz that's how i was raised. X payah menunding jari kt org lain, kerana jari itu akan akan kembali kat kita. Keburukannya, kdg2 things jut need to be 'let go', tanpa sapa2 kena punish. tp itu la kelemahan aku. So, utk jadi berani, ckp apa yg x puas hati, kdg2 perlu. I hate it when ppl being defensive pdhal xde bende pun. tp ade bende yg worth diperjuangkan. I hope when the time comes, i can master this skills. To learn when to sabar, when to fight, when to let go..
Priority / Keutamaan
Simple. U choose what u want to feel. And i choose to be happy. So we just do what in our power power to achieve the happiness. Kdg2 kita surrender kpd rasa marah, sbb dah x tahan. Tapi kdg2 kita tahan marah tu, and learn to accept keadaan itu... eventually we wud feel the happiness. Tapi, in my case, mungkin kerana terlalu lama memendam rasa marah, sbb tu yg lmbat rasa happy.
Should i get angry earlier? I dunno. I xde time-machine untuk membetulkan masa lampau. But, i have now, and future full of promissess. So.. no regrets!!
I dunno why i bertangguh2 nak suruh dia keluar. If i know, keamanan begini yg akan dihadapi, i wud do it sooner. Mungkin sbb i try to convine myself that he's not so bad.Or i sendiri x yakin if I can live with anyone else. See, i'm writing mcm isteri yg mintak divorce kan?
Btw, i hv no interest nak citer pjg2 psl dia.No regrets kan??
I learned a lot from this situation. I learn forgiveness. I learn courage. I learn priority.
Forgiveness.
As easy as org ckp, bukan senang nak maapkan dalam hati, betul? Cakap kat mulut, apalagi SMS, mmg la senang. Nak cakap i'm sorry, atau aku maafkan ko mmg x berapa best jika compare dgn mengamuk and luahkan apa yg terbuku di dada. Anger : mcm rasa lapar. adalah satu drive yg mendesak kita agar memenuhinya. Kalau kita tahan, kita yg x senang duduk. Tapi ada satu lagi nama dia : nafsu. So, dlm hati ni skrg mmg masih ada rasa x puas hati, tapi aku anggap itu seperti rasa lapar yg aku tahan ni. Aku tahan rasa marah itu, cuba padamkan rasa x puas hati itu, supaya aku dpt keamanan. Juga supaya aku belajar sebab kenapa aku perlu marah, x puas hati.. di mana silapnya. Apa yg boleh aku perbaiki.. Courage/Keberanian.
kwn2 tahu aku bukan jenis yg cari pasal. aku juga bkn yg byk songeh. Most of the times i end up punishing myself than other coz that's how i was raised. X payah menunding jari kt org lain, kerana jari itu akan akan kembali kat kita. Keburukannya, kdg2 things jut need to be 'let go', tanpa sapa2 kena punish. tp itu la kelemahan aku. So, utk jadi berani, ckp apa yg x puas hati, kdg2 perlu. I hate it when ppl being defensive pdhal xde bende pun. tp ade bende yg worth diperjuangkan. I hope when the time comes, i can master this skills. To learn when to sabar, when to fight, when to let go..
Priority / Keutamaan
Simple. U choose what u want to feel. And i choose to be happy. So we just do what in our power power to achieve the happiness. Kdg2 kita surrender kpd rasa marah, sbb dah x tahan. Tapi kdg2 kita tahan marah tu, and learn to accept keadaan itu... eventually we wud feel the happiness. Tapi, in my case, mungkin kerana terlalu lama memendam rasa marah, sbb tu yg lmbat rasa happy.
Should i get angry earlier? I dunno. I xde time-machine untuk membetulkan masa lampau. But, i have now, and future full of promissess. So.. no regrets!!
0 comments:
Post a Comment